On Mustard

I believe that a good mustard can change one’s meal. Yellow mustard is literally the worst. Yes, we all eat it at ballgames and at BBQs, because we have to, and occasionally on a soft pretzel, but no one is happy about this. We’re all dreaming of real mustard. Yellow mustard vs. mustard seed fanciness is like the different between drip and instant coffee; it’s acceptable while camping and in an emergency, but it’s not good.

Why “fancy mustard” as opposed to “fancy” versions of other condiments? Have you heard of “fancy ketchup”? No, because that’s called salsa.

Whether you are into spicy, honey, seedy, horseradish, or Grey Poupon mustard, we can all agree that yellow mustard is for the birds.

A few years ago, my older brother discovered a local treasure in the mountains of Montana – Nine Finger Mustard.

He has been buying it for us all for Christmas each year ever since, and gets himself a few bottles as well. They describe their product as “a sweet-hot, western-style, gourmet mustard.” Can we take a moment to admire their amazing use of commas in that phrase…..

If anyone’s interested in buying some, here’s the website!

Now, you might be thinking, ok, great for special occasions, but what about your daily mustard? Well, here is a good place to start: if it comes in a glass jar, you’re on the right track. (I’m not saying that none of the plastic squeezy bottled mustards are good – I am just saying read carefully). Now, unless it is of the spicy or honey variety, be sure you can see seeds. That will let you know it is a stone ground (or coarse ground) mustard and can really be trusted.

Now, this is my daily mustard of choice:

And it is so cheap and available at all grocery stores, so no excuses.

And now a quick word on honey mustard. This can be confusing, as it can either be sweet or spicy / savory. Again, read carefully. Also, beware the salad dressing variety. Pedestrian. Ugh. Go all out on a honey mustard pretzel dip… nom nom….

For a full list of mustard varieties, see the Wikipedia page.

Best of luck to you in choosing your condiments wisely.