Merry Christmas!

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Merry Christmas, folks! I took a minute to break from the hustle and bustle of Christmas Eve so I could say thank you everyone who takes the time to read our blog. But seriously, I have dinner here at my house in a few hours and I have not even started chipping or chopping. Denial in it’s finest form.

Perhaps I have delusions of grandeur (I vote yes on this one) about how many people have read our musings and but the interwebs tells me so far this year we have had over 4,000 views to our page. Thank you for that. Lauren and I enjoy sharing our hilarity with others and hopefully we made you laugh once or twice.

This year has been filled with many things for me – profound change, loss of friendships, strengthening of other ones, laughs, tears and cheese. Lots of cheese. Too much cheese. Wait. There can never be too much cheese. Next year is bound to be pretty exciting, too. Lauren’s wedding, snow, and probably even weirder things from the two of us. Lauren – thanks for being the very best. I truly wouldn’t have made it this year without you.

From the Musings family of Lauren and Katie, we wish you the merriest of Christmas, Hanukkah, winter break or anything else you celebrate and the happiest New Year.

Be safe, be well, enjoy your family, friend, kids, pets, naps, presents, and food.

There is a lot of good out there. Believe.

Weird Laws

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Today, I am just going to share with you some 100% real laws that make absolutely no sense….. As in, why did these have to become written in laws.

Do with them what you will.

WEIRD LAWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

A dead person cannot be required to serve on a jury. (Oregon)

No one may bite off another’s leg. (Rhode Island)

Horses are to wear pants at all times. (South Carolina)
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It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits. (Oregon)

Children under the age of 5 must not be locked in a refrigerator. (Canada)

No person may keep a cheetah as a pet. (Tennessee)
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Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. (Vermont)

Touching electrified wires that cause instant death is a $200 fine. (Australia)

It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts. (Texas)
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It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. (Tennessee)

Since 1173 it has been illegal to die. (Italy)

It is illegal to raise alligators in your home. (Texas)
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Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. (Lebanon)

It is illegal for a chicken to lay an egg on a Friday or Saturday. (Israel)

Committing suicide is punished by Death. (England)

It is illegal to sleep naked. (Minnesota)

At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. (Vermont)
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You are allowed to marry your house. (Wisconsin)

Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays. (Wyoming)

Rescuing a drowning person is not allowed as it would be interfering with their fate. (China)

No woman is allowed to be taller than her husband – if necessary she must chop off a section of her legs. (Indonesia)
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Thoughts on a 31st Birthday

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At a certain point, birthdays are no longer eagerly anticipated. After the thrill of gifts becomes secondary to who you’re spending your day with, and as your year count encroaches on middle age, you think more about your life, the people in it, and what you have accomplished.

In my family, birthdays are a fun-filled, family bonanza. Being the child of a split family, I bounce from one family birthday celebratory dinner to the next during the week of my birthday, or my older brother’s. It is wonderful. I get two birthday dinners with my favorite people. I have two sets of birthday traditions to enjoy.

For example, my mom sings her birthday song to me every year on my birthday. I have no idea where it came from or if anyone else in the world knows it, but it goes something like this:

You’re 31 today, you’re 31 today,
You’ve got the key to the door, you’ve never been 31 before.
Mommy says you can do as you please, so hip hip hurray,
For you’re a jolly good fellow, you’re 31 today.

You know, substituting years and names and such. It is my favorite part of my birthday. She gets all goofy and dances and sings and hugs me. I don’t think I can age without it.

And then there are my dad’s side’s traditions, involving a nice family meal, usually some discussion of being old and what that means, how I feel about being middle aged, and so on. And then there is the dad birthday toast. It is always anticipated, always awkward but heartfelt, and always goes something like this:

Well Lauren, we’re thrilled to be with you, as you get so much older. 31, that’s kind of big deal. [some words of wisdom, or a cut about how they weren’t sure I’d make it] Well, we think you’re terrific, we love you, and happy birthday!

Either way, there’s family shenanigans, hilarity, stories, good food, wine, and cake, and lots and lots of love. I never love being the center of attention, but any excuse is a good one to get together with my favorite people, even if that means sitting through jabs and songs and such. I’ll take it!

Happy holidays to all. And happy birthday to those unfortunates who have to share their birthdays with Christmas!

And now for some birthday humor:

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Weird Car Holiday Decorations

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Katie and I met up for lunch today (since I work from home on Mondays). It is always weird to me that I no longer see her and eat lunch with her every day, after 8 years of doing so.

The end of an era.

But I still chat with her online every day … so it’s ok. Not great, but ok.

Anyway, today, as we were leaving Starbucks, the following interaction occurred:

Lauren: I have a question. Does it freak you out when people put antlers and stuff on their cars?

Katie: You know what freaks me out? When birds are on a wire exactly the same distance apart.

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SO, no seriously. Why do people put antlers on their cars. Or eyelashes. Or balls? WTF?!?!?

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People do some weird things with their cars.  Mustaches, lips…  I can get behind a wreath or some fuzzy dice, but come on.

Here’s a list of some amazing ones.  

Comparing Mall Santas

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Over the years, mall; Santas have gotten a bad rep. Between movies (and Seinfeld) and Santas yelling kids wetting his lap, it doesn’t sound quite as fun and magical as I remember it being to visit the really real Santa each year at the mall.

This one is Rated R:

I remember making a list of gifts I wanted, and then a list of gifts I wanted to give people and slowly checking them off as I made them or colored them – usually involved glue, yarn, beads, and construction paper….

But this article about a Jewish family visiting and comparing four local mall Santas and rating them is super cute, not all that helpful or informative, but cute –

Sidenote:

And just because, look at these horrible hairdos.