Why does my car hate me?


Hi guys. I once had a car that I loved. His name was Harold and he was a 1995 Pontiac Grand Am. Harold was the BOMB.COM. No joke. With an egg shell gas pedal, we used to fly through the streets (just kidding, Dad). Husband, who at the time was Boyfriend, installed a killer stereo in my car. I used to pump up the jams and cruise. Comfy seats. Man, did I love that car.

Harold and I were together for 12 years. 12 solid years, in my book. Faithful. Sure, there were a few dashboard fires (just some electrical issues, no biggie) and that one time my door was almost falling off, and at the end my windows didn’t roll down. But, never any real issues. Solid as a rock. A boss machine, as my dad would say.

Then, one day, as we drove out of our neighborhood, Harold left all of his fluids behind. And it was time. Time for me to buy a new car. I’m not one of those people that factor car payments into every day bills. No sir. Buy a car. Pay it off. Drive it into the ground. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Some may say I take after my dad on this topic. Frankly, i just need to get from Point A to Point B. I will take care of my rides. I will wash them. I will love them. I will drive them fast.

So, almost ten years ago, I got a new car. I got a Saturn. And that will forever go down in history as the shittiest purchase of my life. WHYYYYYYY? Because that car is such a jerk to me. Every three months I have to take it to the dealership because something is recalled. Oh – but of course not before whatever is being recalled actually happens and I have to pay out of pocket. ladjf;lakjfa;lkfdja;lkdsjfa;lkdsfjsa;lkdjkaljf;lakjf

My AC grows mold. And stinks when it is on. My gas tank cracks and leaks gas into my car. Oh no, you say? Don’t worry. It’s a chronic problem. Apparently it will happen again and again. Great!

And, my car has ANTS. Can I get any grosser? I mean, come on. I don’t even eat in my car. There is 100% no way that this could be related to the spilling of 10,000 lattes in the front seat.

So, as I am just returning from picking my car up from the dealership today with yet another recall, I dream of my next car  – a diesel. Because you know, the only thing that makes my car 18293746475853 times worse is getting gas. I feel like my car should be like the Bionic Man by now.

But, flip side: I feel super lucky to even have a car. I’m thankful for that. I do love my ride. Sometimes. When I close my eyes and pretend I’m back in Harold. Who was a BAMF.

I’ll leave you with some funnies. Have an awesome weekend! Start picking out your Halloween costumes. I’ll be following up next week with the 6th Annual Awesome Kid Birthday/Costume Bash update. It’s going to be epic. I will try to remember to take pictures.

i just laughed really hard



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