Ten Interesting (?!) Things About Katie After Too Much Coffee Has Been Had

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Katie here. Guess what guys? I’m having lunch with Lauren today and I’m super, duper excited. But first…I need to warn everyone. I have had WAY too much coffee this morning. What is way to much, you ask?  Well, I’m shaking. I’m sweating. My shiny object syndrome is in full effect and unfortunately (fortunately) for you, I’m sitting in front of my computer and am in the mood to over share. Hooray (OMG). So, here are 10 things about me that I will share with you post my horrific amounts of coffee. Can you picture me sitting here? I’m moving so fast it looks like slow motion. 

1. You already know this but I thought it was important to share again. I HATE GETTING GAS IN MY CAR. Now, i don’t mind doing most chores. But getting gas? NOPE. Flashback only a few years ago (I’m so young, mind you) when I got my car, gas stations still had full service. What is full service? Ah, babies. It is when you pull into the gas station and SOMEONE ELSE FILLS YOUR TANK. I’m not kidding. This was literally the best thing on the whole planet. And for the first, oh…five years I drove, I didn’t pump any gas. Not once. nope nope nope. I used to like to pretend I was a princess. It is magical. And now, unless you are fortunate enough (???) to live in New Jersey, there will be no full service for you. Husband refuses to do this chore for me. I think he should. He says I better not run out of gas with the kid in the car. Let’s just say that happens probably three times a month. LIVING ON THE EDGE.

2. I’m super clumsy. I run into things. All of the time. My arms and legs are covered in bruises and 99% of the time I don’t know from what. If you pay attention to me, you will see me run into the open dishwasher door. The table. The door frame. The anything that is within 5 feet of me. It is alarming that I cannot remember these occurrences. The worst part? The family game of “That bruise is horrible. I’m going to push it.” I lose that game. A lot. 

3. I have a totally rational fear of the ocean. I will swim in it. I will enjoy it. But be forewarned that I believe dinosaurs still exist and are living it in. You don’t know. Stop judging me. The other night, I was reading a book about dinosaurs to my son and there was a section about oceanic dinosaurs and apparently there was this 50 foot water dinosaur lizard (actual scientific name). Um. No. NOPE. So scary. I can’t even. When we went on our honeymoon, husband and I stayed on an island in the Caribbean and there was a 5 mile drop off into the sea oh, you know, RIGHT AT THE BEACH. Of course I’m totally brave and was like, yeah. Let’s go snorkeling. Awesome. Husband threatened to get out of the water because I wouldn’t get off of his back. I know monsters were lurking in that black water. 

4. Have you ever seen that Will Ferrell skit from SNL where he has voice emodulation? Where he talks really loud? And can’t stop and says it is his disability? Yeah. I have that. But only when I am laughing. Being in appropriate (WHAT? NEVER.) Drinking. Had too much coffee. Have to be quiet but can’t. Any time I am in church. Imagine what the folks at lunch will think today. Get ready. Laur.

5. I love to sing. I also think I am really good at it, especially when I am in my car and alone. Yesterday, Wilson Phillips came on and let me just tell you – I took it to another level. This also happens with Whitney Houston, Anything from the 80’s, Metallica…Let’s be honest. If I know the words, it is happening. And if you don’t like my singing? TOO BAD. Love me, love all of me. 

6. I think that my sister and I were supposed to be twins. We actually are, just a few years apart. We even have a secret language. Although, now that I am older, I’m not sure how secret it actually is… 

7. It absolutely freaks me out to see people walking in places with bare feet when they shouldn’t. Gas Station bathroom? NO. Walking down the street? NO. The mall? NO. Stop it. Plan ahead and wear better shoes. Just don’t. Gross. 

8. If you can make me laugh, we will most likely be really, really good friends. And, my one special talent is that I can and will try to make you laugh. And sometimes, I can act totally serious while doing it. I like to give the folks at the Bucks false, weird names to mess with them. I like to do word challenges with people (ok, ok. With Lauren.). I should have been a stand up comedian in another life. 

9. Hi 5’s motivate me. There is nothing better than a good high 5. I promise. At work today, just give a coworker one and see. Up top. Don’t leave me hanging. Even better? Follow it up with a hearty “YEAH!” You will feel eleventy times better. Trust me. 

10. I have a new obsession. American Ninja Warrior. Have you seen this? OMG. Please. Watch it. I cannot even handle how exciting it is. I can watch it for hours. I love how these folks push themselves to the limit.

So, there you go. Some fun facts for your day that you didn’t even know you wanted. And, while I wrote this I did three loads of laundry, waxed the floors, weeded the yard, paid all the bills, went grocery shopping and reshingled the roof. Thanks, coffee!!!!!!!!!!

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