Mother’s Day…  in a nut shell



My mother is awesome.  Silly, cuddly, goofy, serious, smart, healthy, energetic.  Etc.  

She has many “isms”.  One is that she asks you a question and then doesn’t listen to the answer and proceeds to ask again, maybe 3x, through the evening.  **Sigh.  I get to the point where I remind her that I already answered her question and she needs to pay attention.  I am an ass.  I know.  But this is not an “aging mind,” this has been forever mom.  Genetic.  Down to her bones. 

Which leads me to the most prominent female “ism” on my mom’s family side….  That thing with the guy? Who was that?  What is that called?  What is that word?  We all have a serious issue with word recal.  With remembering the names of people, places, things, movies, food, etc.  My mom can be ¾ through a movie and be like, “Oh, I HAVE seen this before…”  Again, **sigh. 

And we all do it.  My grandmother, aunts, cousins….  It’s hilarious to see us play board games like Taboo or Pictionary.  We’ll be gesticulating and yelling, but we juuuuust cannot reach the word in our brains.  My grandmother is the cutest.  She laughs so hard at herself she tears up.  Le cute.  

My mom calls it “Sometimers.”

My mother is also one of those crazy people who gets up at the asscrack of dawn to work out every day.  Take a day off, you ask?  Well, that’s when she does yoga, or goes for a hike, or only swam for 30 min instead of 45.  Um….  Take a nap.  

Now, when I was in high school, my friends affectionately referred to my mom as The Multigrain.  As in, Lauren, why do you only have granola and all natural PB and no soda or cookies?  No, fig newtons.  Oh not Fig Newtons, Fig Newman’s (The Paul Newman / Newman’s Own all natural version).  It’s amazing I survived.


My friends would bring their own snacks, their own sodas, etc.  They stopped asking.  And to me, our all natural, granola, crunchy, multigrain food was totally normal.  Chips?  Do you mean pretzels?  Sugar cereal….  Omg never.  That is allllll sugar.  Another glass of OJ,  that is allllllll sugar. 

She puts flaxseed in her …  everything ….  And if you don’t know about flaxseed, it is high in fiber and looks and tastes like sand.  She puts it in pasta, salads, etc.  Sand.  Gritty.  No. 


Now, you’d think that when she had her third child, 14 years after me, she would continue all these healthy nut trends.  No.  You would be wrong.  Not only did my lil sis have Cable (*gasp!), but she also eats Mac N Cheese!  I didn’t know what that was! 

So, in honor of all mothers everywhere, for their crazy rules, their idiosyncratic food beliefs, their inability to name that movie she watched last night or tell me what the book she is currently reading is about …  let us raise a glass of patience, love, hugs, and appreciation for teaching us not to sweat the small stuff…  and it’s all small stuff.

Love you, mom.  


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