On (not) being a grown up… – by Lauren


I am a grown up.  I am 30.  Why do I still get under-the-skin, Rudolph-nose zits?  Makes no sense.

Also, by now, I thought I’d have a sense of style, know how to do makeup, how to do my hair, how to successfully do my taxes…  false.  I am the same person I was as I was in high school.  I am still hopeless.

Can people change?  Of course.  But it requires an effort.  These things do not come to you by osmosis.  I feel like I was misinformed by society.  You know, “all middle-schoolers are awkward, and then ta-da, high school and beyond… BLOSSOMS!”  Listen, unless someone takes the time to show that awkward middle schooler how to apply makeup, how to buy the best clothes for her body, etc…  she will always be a fashion minimalist and come to trends long after they are cool.

I am actually ok with this.  If it really concerned me, I would seek out help.  And there are times when I do.  But really, let’s be honest, ain’t nobody got time for that…  makeup?  You’ve got 2 minutes.  Fashion?  Is it clean and weather-appropriate?  Done and done.

This is why I think I hate shopping.  Yes, I have a hard time accepting my not-supermodel body, and therefore feel that nothing looks good on me; but part of it is that I get totally overwhelmed by anything not basic, classic, and safe.  I was just in this store a few months ago, how can they have a whole new wardrobe – commit to a look, people!  Yes I have been wearing the same clothes to work forever….  I have no money to shop often and I am comfortable.  Do I get bored?  Yes.  Am I willing to buy new clothes every season?  Hells no.  Save the money, go on a vacation.

And at work, yes I can be professional, and I can turn on work voice, but mostly I am the same goofball and the same giggler as I was 15 years ago.  I enjoy simple hilarity, I want to connect deeply with a small group of people and totally ignore the rest, I want to hold myself and others up to high standards of awesomeness, honesty, and timeliness (if you are still late for everything and you are a grown up, I give up on you).

My father has a theory, ok it is not his, but he spouts on about it often, about how we are all formed by the time we are 5 and if you ask parents to write out their children’s personalities, who they are, how they tick, what upsets them, etc., and then look again when they are 15 and 25 and so on, they would find these kids are basically the same people (just with different issues / interests).

My point on this is not to give up on people, but to understand that people are who they are, and that if we want things to change they have to really work on it.  And also, parents, pay attention those first few years.  You are literally shaping the rest of your child’s life.


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