Introducing Katie and Lauren: bios, of a sort. And some LOLz.

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Strange Obsessions:

Lauren: 
I love books and I am fervently opposed to seeing a movie before reading the book. When I ask people if they have read a given book an they say they’ve seen the movie, I want to throw a book at their heads for their pig-headedness.  Rule #1 – the book is always better than the movie.  Always.

I am obsessed with correct grammar / spelling / use of the English language.  Want to really turn me off or set me to boil?  Use their, there, and they’re wrong.  Spelling is not an option.  It is a requirement.  As is thinking.  Don’t accept insufficient knowledge.  Improve.

Thanks to my dad and his early book-reading, I love all things science fiction and fantasy, specifically Star Wars, Ender’s Game, Lord of the Rings, and now Harry Potter.  Give me a dragon, and I am happy.  These tails have sprawled into the worlds of The Wheel of Time and A Song of Ice and Fire, but the originals still hold a truer place in my nerdy heart.

I love penguins.  Well really, people love that I love penguins.  Mention it once and suddenly…  PENGUIN EXPLOSION.  Having a birthday and Christmas in the winter months and liking penguins means that people have 2 winter occasions to purchase moving, singing, walking, glowing penguins, for the tree, for my keychain, for my wardrobe, feet, hair, etc….  they’re cute and fuzzy.  And infesting my life.  It’s a love / hate relationship at this point.  But one I am comfortable with having forever.

Katie:
Wow. This is a loaded topic. I have many obsessions ( I like to refer to them as “interests.”)

There is a list. Yes, you read that correctly. A list. Here are a few:

– Amish people. This interested was ignited years ago after seeing a documentary called “Rumspringa.” It is about the year the Amish take off to live the “English” way before decided to fully commit to the Amish way of live. I highly recommend it. This coincides with the few years where I was really interested in how people overcome obstacles in their lives. I read about 50 books about Amish folks that had been shunned from their communities.

– Mormonism. This interest is like an onion (it has many layers). First of all, I have family on both sides that have converted to Mormonism. I also really appreciate many of the core values: Family, Christianity, Education. While there are aspects I do not agree with, if I was going to convert, I would either be Jewish or Mormon. Luckily, I have many friends who are Mormon and will let me read their LDS literature, etc. (Shout out to you, Smurr) and talk about it with them on a regular basis. One of my favorite blogs is written by a Mormon attorney living in Utah. Incidentally, I have also read many books about ex-Mormons and lives after they have left the church.

– Midgets. God is pretty spectacular. I love how LPs overcome both every day and physical obstacles. Seems to be an ongoing trend.

 

Something that scares you.

Lauren:
Spiders, people paying attention to me, suffocating, mushy foods, water snakes

Katie:
The ocean. Good Lord that thing is huge. (That’s what she said) I’m convinced there are dinosaurs still living it in. *Don’t judge me. You don’t know.* I love swimming, snorkeling and the beach but am scared shitless about what lurks in the depths.

 

If you were a kind of food, and not pizza, what would you be and why?

Lauren:
I would be a spread of dips and apps, smoked salmon and capers, gourmet cheese, guacamole.  Always exciting and different, small, yet satisfying.  Nom nom.

Katie:
Bagel. I would be a bagel. There is really no other perfect food. They are so good. So many flavors and options. And maybe also brie. Because brie.

 

If you could be an animal, what kind and why?

Lauren:
I mean, this is hard, I would want to be able to fly, and swim, and also be fast, and smart.  Thinking a dragon is always a good option.  A tropical, amphibious dragon.  Who eats fruit and meat and breathes fire.

Oh, a real animal.  A chimp?  They seem to have fun.  And throwing poo is funny.  A puppy?  Cute and friendly and sleeps all day.  (Katie here…Lauren. Is throwing poop funny?! I have many questions about this.)

I’m sticking with dragon.

Katie:

I would be a bird! I would like to fly. Not fly in a plane but really fly. So free. If the question was if you were a superhero what would your power be, flying would also apply to that question as well.

 

One thing about yourself you wish you could change?

Lauren:
Asthma/Sinus issues.  I wish I could breathe like a normal person, be able to go to sleep without doing a sinus rinse and wearing a breathe rite nasal strip.  Not snore and irritate all roomates, boyfriends, and vacationing friends/siblings.  It is not my fault, guys.  I am gross, I wake up gasping for air, I am tired all he time from the REM disruption.  It is less than ideal.

Why am I tired all the time?  Cuz I wake up all night.  And I am not allowed to have caffeine.

Murr.

Katie:
I (mostly) like who I am so I am going to alter this question a little. If there was something that I wish I could be or do, I would be an artist. Like Bansky. If you don’t know who that is, look him up. He is amazing. I see it in my head but have never been able to recreate it in real life.

 

What era do you think you should live in, and where?

Lauren:
I am torn between a few.

  1. Renaissance Nobility, England.  Jousting, balls, mead, jesters?  Shakespeare. Yes.
  2. Jane Austen’s 18th century England/Scotland.  Books.  Lawn picnics.  Riding through the glen.  Moo moo dresses that hide everything, poetry, dances…  sigh …
  3. 1960s in America.  Bring on the music fever.  I would have been such a good groupie.

Katie:
This one is a loaded question! I already lived in the decade that I wish I was in now! Obvi I was a little young then, but still. I should have been in my 20’s in the 1980’s in New York City. So amazing. I probably would not have made it out of my 20’s but I would have gone out with a bang! The music, Ronald Reagan (!), the clubs, the art. THE FASHION. I would wear leg warmers and neon everywhere if people didn’t think it would be weird.

 

And now time for some LOLz:

I get this poem every winter & every winter I love re-reading it.
It’s a beautiful poem and very well written.

A poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
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SHIT
ITS COLD

On (not) being a grown up… – by Lauren

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I am a grown up.  I am 30.  Why do I still get under-the-skin, Rudolph-nose zits?  Makes no sense.

Also, by now, I thought I’d have a sense of style, know how to do makeup, how to do my hair, how to successfully do my taxes…  false.  I am the same person I was as I was in high school.  I am still hopeless.

Can people change?  Of course.  But it requires an effort.  These things do not come to you by osmosis.  I feel like I was misinformed by society.  You know, “all middle-schoolers are awkward, and then ta-da, high school and beyond… BLOSSOMS!”  Listen, unless someone takes the time to show that awkward middle schooler how to apply makeup, how to buy the best clothes for her body, etc…  she will always be a fashion minimalist and come to trends long after they are cool.

I am actually ok with this.  If it really concerned me, I would seek out help.  And there are times when I do.  But really, let’s be honest, ain’t nobody got time for that…  makeup?  You’ve got 2 minutes.  Fashion?  Is it clean and weather-appropriate?  Done and done.

This is why I think I hate shopping.  Yes, I have a hard time accepting my not-supermodel body, and therefore feel that nothing looks good on me; but part of it is that I get totally overwhelmed by anything not basic, classic, and safe.  I was just in this store a few months ago, how can they have a whole new wardrobe – commit to a look, people!  Yes I have been wearing the same clothes to work forever….  I have no money to shop often and I am comfortable.  Do I get bored?  Yes.  Am I willing to buy new clothes every season?  Hells no.  Save the money, go on a vacation.

And at work, yes I can be professional, and I can turn on work voice, but mostly I am the same goofball and the same giggler as I was 15 years ago.  I enjoy simple hilarity, I want to connect deeply with a small group of people and totally ignore the rest, I want to hold myself and others up to high standards of awesomeness, honesty, and timeliness (if you are still late for everything and you are a grown up, I give up on you).

My father has a theory, ok it is not his, but he spouts on about it often, about how we are all formed by the time we are 5 and if you ask parents to write out their children’s personalities, who they are, how they tick, what upsets them, etc., and then look again when they are 15 and 25 and so on, they would find these kids are basically the same people (just with different issues / interests).

My point on this is not to give up on people, but to understand that people are who they are, and that if we want things to change they have to really work on it.  And also, parents, pay attention those first few years.  You are literally shaping the rest of your child’s life.

Sincerely Insincere – by Katie

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A few weeks ago I was struck down with bronchitis seemingly overnight. It was one of those times when I couldn’t ignore feeling sick for a few weeks and immediately went to the doctor the next day. I’m not sure if that is something that I inherited (you never get diagnosed with anything if you don’t go to the doctor) or if it is my hypochondriacal nature to avoid finding out if my self diagnosed symptoms were accurate.

I muddled through my day, popping out for the quick doctor visit and continued to work for the rest of the day. Now, let me point out at this time that I was very, very sick. I had to get a breathing treatment during my appointment and was prescribed multiple medications, including an inhaler. As the day went on and I walked the halls and people popped into my office for different reasons everyone asked with the usual nicety, “How are you?”

Hi. My name is Katie. I don’t like to share. This is not stemming from anything other than the fact that I do not believe that I am very interesting and such have nothing to offer. I find it very difficult to open up about really anything and once I find folks that I do open up to, I never stop. And over share. Lauren can attest to this. So I spent the greater part of my day feeling like death warmed over repeating, “I’m great!” I was lying. And it got me to thinking.

Why do we feel like we cannot tell people the truth? I lied. To everyone. All day. A few weeks ago, I was with my friend Stacey who is both a wonderful person and an amazing stylist. Sometimes, when I spend hours with her getting my hair done I feel as though I have spent quality time in a Buddhist temple in Tibet. Relaxed, invigorated and incredibly self reflective. (Also, beautiful. She is great at her job.) I have never done that before but I can imagine that is how you feel. During my last appointment, we discussed making a “What not to do” list. We talked at length about being a woman, a mom and how we often feel so overwhelmed and we reach a breaking point. Stacey said the whole point of making this list to be able to reach out and say, “I cannot do this. I need help.” We don’t have to do it all ourselves. I am guilty of taking on too much and feeling resentful. And then I feel guilty. And then I feel exhausted. Luckily, my husband and I have gotten to a point in our marriage where we share the equal burdens of everyday life.  I know most of you are thinking “BS” and thank you for calling me on that. While we have shared roles, we also have separate roles for which we help the other succeed. I’m not going to lie. There are disagreements. And eye rolling accompanied by HEAVY sighs. But he has learned to ignore me when I get to that point. The husband doesn’t remember certain things that need to be done, schedules that need to be kept or sometimes, for that matter, which night is trash night. We will not mention all the things that he manages to help me get through. We would be here for days. But over the past year, I have spoken up and told him I need help. His response is usually “thank you for telling me! I’m happy to do that.”

Which leads me back to the beginning. Why don’t we feel we can open up to people? Trust – I know those people that you don’t want to ask how they are doing because they will tell you EVERYTHING. In great detail. But, you know, sometimes you need to let go and tell someone. I spend my time with some really great people every single day. I like them. I like to think they like me. I ask because I care; why do I assume they don’t ask because they care? Is it because we think people will see us as human? Unqualified? Vulnerable? There is this fear that as a woman, you have to do it all and if you cannot then you can’t possibly be good at your job or your life. I am surrounded by young women every day and we encourage them to have a voice and that they can have it all yet we deny ourselves the right to say “today I don’t feel well.”

My goal for this week is to be honest when someone asks me about myself. Most likely I will not divulge everything that is going on in my world today. But I will tell them how I am doing.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you do the same thing?

Cheers!

Today’s Musings

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Lauren:  Random Katie Comments of the Day:

  • Katie:  I hate the fact that the end of a hot dog looks like an asshole
  • Katie: I want to name myself something fun.  I really like 2CHAINZ. (insert awkward rap dance / thrust here) Awkward? You call that awkward?  Ok. Maybe. But it had heart.
  • Katie:  why doesn’t my hair look as good as Jared Leto’s
  • Katie:  and if you had hammertoes, would you wear open toed shoes
  • Katie:  also mustaches should be illegal
  • Katie:  is it better to walk into a bathroom where someone has just dropped a huge deuce and NOT sprayed?  or to walk into the bathroom where someone has just dropped a deuce and sprayed the heck out of orange spray and you get a mouthful of both?
  • Katie: I feel like I am the balloon that floats around and you hold on to me and shake your head at me
  • Katie:  This is me in my car: 

Katie:  Upon reflection: this makes me seem so rando and insane. Imagine what it is really like 24/7 in there.  Good news, though. I worked on my core all day. Feeling stronger.

Lauren:  What Food Matches Your Personality:    

Ugh, I got pizza, I don’t even eat pizza much.  And I find its over-oilyness gross.  Unless I am bored, lazy, and craving it.

** Convo with Katie after she, too, got pizza:

K: f-ing pizza
not even white pizza
i would go ahead and say i’m a bagel
or cheese or something like that

L: i think i’m an apple and brie sandwich on a baguette
with some red wine

K:  ooooh, look at you, all fancy and shit

Things that drive me bonkers: Words that do not exist or are horribly misused/maimed

  • analization (dost thou mean analysis?)
  • unorganized (DISorganized, for the love of ….)
  • sneak peak (no… PEEK, as in a look, not the top of a mountain)

K: You have the biggest no nonsense bullshit detector in the world. I love you more every day because of it.

Lauren keeping it real in the digital age:

  • have you noticed that wishing someone happy birthday on FB literally means nothing
  • there is an alert, a thing pops up, zero effort is required
  • if you’re not going to drink wine with me or decorate my office, or sing in my voicemail, i care not

Thought-provoking pics for your enjoyment

indeed

indeed

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=857602394269215&set=a.223098324386295.105971.205344452828349&type=1&theater

 

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http://www.pinterest.com/pin/109634572152035318/
L: If I see this on someone’s heads, I KILLS IT
K: I would totally wear this out just to freak out the folks.

 

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http://www.pinterest.com/pin/109634572152986005/
mwahahahhaaa